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The Legend of Zelda: Money Issues/Transcript
This is the transcript for The Legend of Zelda: Money Issues. Transcript Link: Looking for Rupees all over Hyrule is exhausting. (Link spots a tri-colored Rupee) Link: What's this? (Link puts the Rupee in his wallet) Link: Can't even imagine bunk beds with a slide... (Link re-opens his wallet) Link: ...9999 Rupees. Well, that's the amount before... wait a minute! (Link closes his wallet) Link: Well, now I know why I shouldn't trust something like that. (cut to Link and the Trendy Game Shop Owner) Trendy Game Shop Owner: I'm sorry, Link, but I can only charge ten Rupees per play. If you wanted to spend all of that, you'd be here all day. (Link walks out of the store in anger) (cut to Link and the Town Tool Shop Owner) Link: How much is the Bow? Town Tool Shop Owner: 980 Rupees. Link: I'll pay you with 9999 Rupees. Town Tool Shop Owner: I appreciate your generosity, but you have to pay the exact price. Bows aren't worth 9999 Rupees, you know. (Link walks out of the store in anger) (cut to Link and a Rupee Like) Link: I hope this works. (Link touches the Rupee Like) Link: Are you responding? (the Rupee Like is defeated) Link: Dammit. (cut to Link and a treasure chest containing a Rupoor) Link: Will this work? (the treasure chest shatters into a million pieces) Link: OK, then. (cut to Link entering Theives' Town) Link: How much is a Golden Bee? Shopkeeper: 9999 Rupees. Link: Thanks, I- Shopkeeper: ...minus 1000. Link: Could you please say that again? Shopkeeper: It's 9999 Rupees minus 1000. (Link walks out of the store in anger) (Link sees a poster saying "Blacksmith will engrave your name in your weapon for 9999 Rupees") Link: That looks like a good place to go to. (Link goes to the blacksmith's, but finds out he's closed) Link: Dammit! Why is he closed? (Link waits all night for the blacksmith) Link: When will he arrive? I'm exhausted as hell! (the blacksmith arrives) Link: Thanks for coming. I heard that you are engraving names of Hylians for 9999 Rupees. Blacksmith: I WAS engraving names for 9999 Rupees. But everyone forced me to lower the price to only 10 Rupees. (Link leaves the blacksmith's in anger) Link: Is there anyone who wants 9999 Rupees? (Link sees a poster saying "Fortune Teller. The Super-Duper Fortune is 9999 Rupees.") (Link goes to the Fortune Teller) Link: I heard you're offering a Super-Duper Fortune- Fortune Teller: Now I'm banned from even mentioning Super-Duper Fortunes. (Link walks out of the Fortune Teller's place in anger) Link: Who came up with the tri-colored Rupee in the first place? (a Nintendo car arrives and three men step out) Link: Shigeru Miyamoto!? Jim Jinkins!? Satoru Iwata? Hiroyuki Ogasawara: Iwata's dead. I'm Hiroyuki Ogasawara. Shigeru Miyamoto: We wanted to add three... characters... to follow you around, but Disney wouldn't allow that. So we invented the tri-colored Rupee instead. Jim Jinkins: Isn't that right, Miyamoto? I tried to add them, but Disney said no. Shigeru Miyamoto: That's right, Mr. Jinkins. Link: Here's the 9999 Rupees I got with the tri-colored Rupee. I know that I should no longer trust tri-colored Rupees. It doesn't care how many Rupees you've got- you're going to have to spend some in order to stay strong during battle. But Hyrule's been short on Rupees lately, and I didn't want all 9999 Rupees at the same time. Shigeru Miyamoto: I'll tell you what- was that a programming error? Jim Jinkins: No- you forgot to put other Rupees in there, Mr. Miyamoto! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well, then. I'm sorry for putting only one Rupee in this game we made. We would like to fix it. Link: No problem! Just place the other Rupees in the game, and I'll be good to go in no time. Shigeru Miyamoto: OK, then. We'll do that. Is that OK with you? Link: Deal. (the three men get back in the Nintendo car and drive back to the Nintendo headquarters) Link: I wonder how this would go. (three months later) Link: Zelda, I had the craziest dream. Zelda: What was it, Link? Link: That I got a tri-colored Rupee. (a Hylian Soldier walks in) Hylian Soldier: Princess, we've been trying to clean up this paint for three months. We scrape and we scrape and still it wouldn't come off. Zelda: OK, then. Must be the work of Yuga again... (end)